SOL Tuesday: Imperfect Attempt

I sit in the 5 AM artificial light and tap less than six keys at a time. Hesitation creeps into the void April has created after such vibes in March. I sit here, scrolling through photos, distractions, and precious minutes wasted.

We had a post-dinner dance party last night—I guess I’ll go there first. Tim sat at the table while I swung with Elena in my arms from side to side. I held her in a way that allowed us to face each other and play some Latin music. Slow at first, close together, singing the lyrics to her because dancing becomes its own force when I sing. Elena’s eyes wide open, giving me a gentle push if I dare stop for an instant. I’ll remember this random Monday evening for her through these words.

I’ve been wanting to write a post about Stop & Jot since I heard Lina (our socio-emotional consultant) being impressed with students reading and writing stickies in a grade 3 classroom. Twice, I’ve sat down, written a title, and seen myself close the laptop after failing at two incoherent sentences. Reflecting through writing is something harder than not. I know what I want to say, but the screen seems to be expecting meaning and clarity, and my ideas are too busy having their own dance party to deliver. I will try again later this week, and maybe Gianna can give me a hand.

Billy (my hairdresser) recommended this writing book a couple of years ago. I remember taking it to the beach with all my Post-its and eagerness to capture the great lines from the author, and I now don’t remember where it is. I often gift or lend books and forget who has them. On Saturday, I’ll lead a virtual session on writing for adults, and I could really use some quotes from that yellow book. While I wait for it to magically make its way back to me, I’ll try to make a plan for a group of moms to find meaning in writing something.

6:26 AM. The sun graces the clouds in front of me, slowly filling the dark spaces of my living room with better light. I turn the lamp off, and I will call it. I think I’ll go cuddle my sleepy baby, who is starting to roll around and be okay with this imperfect attempt at a Tuesday slice.