Landfall

The “Landfall” countdown on weather channels seems surreal to me.
Trying to make sense of the destruction that will come, sweeping everything in its path, is, to me, an untamable beast.
I just can’t assimilate what is about to happen.

As Florida prepares for Hurricane Milton, I find myself in a weird state of mind. Today, I’ve gone from high-energy productivity to hiding in a bathroom for 2-3 minutes as information of what’s about to come sinks in. Even though we’re not in a danger zone, my mind imagines people who, at this time, have left their homes and belongings behind. I think of how this event will forever impact their lives, and something in me shuts down.

Even with my tight schedule, whenever my mind rested from back-to-back meetings and lessons, the countdown pushed itself back in.

In the afternoon, I went into the typical 4 to 6 pm routine, snoozing those numbers so that I could be present. Elena and I played, tried on her Halloween costume, called family, and vacuumed together. Then, dinner came, and I learned she is also a Panera soup lover. We had a fun bathtime where she finally began to “do it like Zoe,” putting her back enough for me to rinse her hair without much water falling on her face. After months of reading the book, she finally understood what I meant by “Do it like Zoe!” That achievement smile on her face is forever imprinted in my memories.

Memories, images, and a “landfall” countdown that will forever go along with this moment.

I don’t know where I’m really going with all this. I do know I needed to write it, hoping to gain some perspective. But after the words come out, all I find is a present-time duality: Many beautiful things happened with Elena today, events I want to freeze in time, and as I do, those images will not only remind me of how she waved goodbye (for the first time ever) after I dropped her in her classroom, or how she signed, “Help!” while playing Legos. These moments will also come with images of a weather channel countdown and the fear of what is about to happen.