Aha!

When we started face-to-face school in the fall, we had to record our lessons for the students who were still doing e-learning. Some teachers in our team took on different subjects to film. I chose writing. Instructional time was reduced due to staggered arrival and dismissal times, so I had to transform 10-minute minilessons into 5-minute “tiny lessons.” My goal was to protect independent writing time and make short clips to share with these students. So I took out parts of a normal minilesson to make it happen. The students in the room seemed to be doing well with the change, so I had no reason to rethink what I was doing.

I only watched the first of these videos to make sure the sound was good. I had to adjust a few things and speak even slower because of the mask, but I was happy with the result. I wasn’t looking at the teaching. I focused on the technicalities of the video. After that, I kept teaching, making these videos, and posting them. I did not go back and watched them after that first time.

Last week, things at school changed for me. I left the classroom to start working with individual students that needed reinforcement in certain areas. This is my first time offering such support, and like every other first-time job, insecurities and doubt came knocking. I thought, “Maybe if I watch what I’m doing, I’ll get some perspective.” So, I asked one of these students if I could record our session. He happily accepted, and I recorded three sessions throughout the week.

Here’s what I learned after watching these videos: I’m speaking a bit too fast when giving instructions, I’m also repeating steps way too much, I am missing a few visuals that could help with transferring of knowledge, I’m also sometimes distracting him with random comments. Now, there are also things I’m doing well, but those aren’t things I feel like reflecting on. Right now, I want to improve our work together.

After writing notes on my plans for this week, I remembered the many other videos I have of my tiny writing lessons. That’s a good collection of teaching samples I can look at and reflect on in a way I have never done before. Until now, my moments of reflection came after a principal’s observation, professional development sessions, conversations with colleagues, and the biggest one, something in class that didn’t seem to be working. Never before I had seen myself teach.

Ten years ago, I would have seen those videos and probably cringe at some points. Then, the files would have gone to some hard drive and die there. Ten years ago, I had no lenses to observe my practice, so it would have been a significant risk to my ego. I have lenses now, though. I have spent years unlearning and exploring new approaches. I understand what it takes to improve one’s craft in the classroom, and my ego has no place here.

These videos, and the unexpected enjoyable moment of reflection, made me think of this blog. I’m not sure exactly what I do here, and early on, I made that very clear. I believe now that was an excuse not to dive into this reflection process—an excuse I probably needed then to get started with blogging instead of waiting for divine intervention. So there, writing about what I learn and I observe to reflect on my work. That’s it. I’m not ranting; I’m reflecting.

I believe that this realization will help those 19 drafts become something and leave that silly place. Those drafts hold raw reflections that I decided at some point had little to offer. Now I know I’m not just offering something (go ego, go!); I’m doing this for me. Writing helps me understand things differently. I write, I think, I understand.

I think George Couros would give me a nod of approval.