It happens one or two days before begin back. I’m somewhere for vacation, repacking my suitcase and checking flights when the void takes over. My energy to leave the couch or do something is absent. I fight the urge to check my emails and instead just check my glass of wine to make sure there’s still some left.
I’m sure this “back-to-school” anxiety has a specific name, or ha been described by someone somewhere, I’m not sure, but I’m also not in such shape as to google it. I do know how I feel and where my mind goes on the few days before a break ends. Just as well as I can define the guilt, I feel for having “such problems.”
This time it hit while being in Barcelona, one of my favorite cities in Europe, with such great places to visit and such lovely friends to spend time with. Tim was kind enough to give me space as my eyes devoured episodes of Game of Thrones. My head hurt, my stomach bothered me, and the To-Do list replayed in my head over and over. Making plans for how much time I’d need to prep for class, the arrival of a new student, and a very messy classroom.
The feeling hit me, held me for a while, and then dropped me early this morning. Inspiring podcasts, a few minutes of reading, and a calming playlist as I wrote my morning message to my students, welcoming them back to class.
As I write these lines, I realized that I had not thought about it until now. Routine always saves me, the sense of purpose, the plans for fun lessons, and exciting tales over recess with the many students who enjoy sitting with me. An afternoon of organizing, more class prep, and grocery shopping followed, and as I finish this post, that playlist puts my stress to bed.
Bring it, Monday.
Start with a Story 