Al agua

I always have a lot to say.

In the past few years I’ve learned interesting things about the way I communicate with others. I have learned about filters and intention behind my words, and how I may choose not to say certain things. In the past, I was a lot more careless with what I said and how I said it, being at times brutally honest and accidentally hurtful. It’s taken a few years and meaningful relationships to grow up, and realize that I don’t have to say everything I think about.

In 2005 I started blogging, following a good friend’s suggestion. My naive way of communicating lived in my writing for years, and I loved the feeling of expressing myself in some sort of monologue. I wrote on the blog for years, posts were incredibly personal and direct at first, later on they became cryptic and more focused on relationships. My writing was driven by the idea of never reaching, always longing for something, waiting, wishing, hoping; posts were emotionally charged and based on (mostly) unhappiness. Once I reached a happy place, writing stopped. It’s been a while, I think there’s lots of joy to share and I also think it’s about time I reset my writing mode. Writing always felt right, so I might as well just give it another try.

In the Spring of 2017, I had the opportunity to travel to Macedonia for a seminar. One thing I loved about that place was the amount of statues all over, a taxi driver told us the city is known by many as “the city of the statues” for obvious reasons. Tim had recently given me a camera, and until then I hadn’t felt the need to use it and capture moments. The one statue that caught my eye was that of a swimmer about to dive in, it was a pretty fun statue to watch because it was particularly cold that day and it the swimmer seemed to be thinking “I’ll get in… I’ll get in… I’m going in…”

My writing has been like that statue, frozen and in position to dive in but not really doing so. Tonight felt like the night to get back in the water.